Thursday, March 27, 2008

Let It Snow

I must admit that I have been longing for warmer days as of late, but I can't help but feel a rise of satisfaction when I see snow falling at the end of March. It's March 27, and while the snow in Montesano is not a vast amount, there is more in the towns surrounding us.

I've been thinking about summer for a couple weeks now, tired of running from my car into the grocery store at lightening speed (well my lightening speed) because it is so unbearably cold for me, I'm afraid I will turn into a snow cone. My thoughts of becoming a popsicle were right because a day later, last Friday, it snowed like crazy at our house at the lake. I'm not crazy.

As I write the snow is coming down pretty hard, and while I hate driving in it, I love the peaceful quiet that comes with snowfall. I guess snow reminds me of Christmas, a time of year that I love so much, eventhough it never snows on Christmas here. Spring and Summer will be coming soon enough, so why don't we just enjoy the beauty that God has blessed us with?

Be safe in the snow! God Bless!


Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Exciting News!

With one small phone call yesterday, I found that no in fact Josh and I will not be living in a refrigerator box while he attends school. This is a plus considering how difficult it would be to hook up any sort of internet connection in that small amount of space. And also, where would I plug my hairdryer in? Well, forget that thought, I have a plug in for that in my car, but what is the most important, where would my internet connection go?! I have to have my priorities straight people.

It was such a relief yesterday though, when we did find out that we would have somewhere to go when we got to Boise, I wasn't looking forward to potentially living in an extended stay hotel. $50 a night for students attending NLC was not looking like an exciting adventure for me, or a cheap one either. Like most couples starting out, we aren't rich. We have other things to worry about, like gas prices. Can you believe how high they are? I think I might have to start riding a bike. We might even hitch a trailer to the back of a bike, and huff it all the way to Boise just to save gas.

I'm so excited that we'll have our first place, though. It's no one else's. There is no other stuff in it. No one's clothes hanging in the closet, no more feeling blind when I search through a cupboard for something that I think should be in plain sight and it's not. Isn't it weird how differently we do things, I always think everyone should do things my way. Who doesn't? but when people don't have their stuff in a place I think it should be, I get all stressed out. Maybe I'm too controlling? That could be it. Or it could be a product of not having the freedom of our own space. Anyway, we are really excited to get started with our new adventure !

Hope you have a wonderful wednesday!

God Bless!


Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Sharing Joy and Pain

One of the most beautiful gifts in the world is a friend. Some of us are blessed with one friend that we feel we share much more than just a few likes and dislikes with, and there are some of us who are blessed with a few friends that we feel a deeper connection with. I've talked about soul friends before, and I'm pretty sure I've talked about sharing life's events with eachother, but for me it is a season of sharing beautiful moments of joy even if we are far apart.

As I sit here on this cloudy March morning I can't help but smile because I have been blessed with such wonderful people in my life. While these people vary in personality we all have one thing in common: We were thrown together by God for some reason, sometimes the reason is unknown to us, but with time, and the growth of friendship our eyes were opened to the answer. We were put together to help eachother in what ever joy, or hardship that lies in our past, in our present, and in our future. Each of my friends has helped me in a different way, and my hope is I have helped them as well.

I find it amazing that we as people build such great connections with eachother. I think sometimes we are so worried about feeling anything that we shut ourselves off from any emotion at all, and become so introverted in attempts to shield ourselves from the hurt and pain we someitmes feel. At the same, though, as a result to drawing inward, and everyone else outward we shut out the beauty of the joys in life. Feeling is a part of being human, and while I spent the better part of my childhood working on the fine craft of feeling nothing, or at least letting people think I was feeling nothing, I refuse to let my adult life take on the same form. While my emotions are usually up and down now, especially after my dad died, feeling nothing is so exhausting.

So like I said, I find it amazing that even though we as people sometimes have a hard time coping, or handling our own emotions, we invest so much of ourselves into our friends, families, and the ones we are the closest too.

We feel overwhelming joy in their happy times, and sadness in times of trial. While we will always have our own lives to worry about, somewhere along the way we cross that line of just being friends, and we let ourselves feel what they feel, and we feel them so freely, and so openly.

The human condition amazes me. It is such a blessing to share all of life's experiences with friends. Friends need to support, and we need the gift of a friend who will truly feel in their hearts the way we do during times of happiness and struggle.

Anyway, just a quick thought for the day!

Have a blessed day


Tuesday, March 18, 2008

A Real Irish Dinner

Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day, as everyone knows, well, I think everyone knows. While I don't understand why St. Patrick got a holiday, and why we have to wear green, I follow the masses and go out of my way to find something green in my closet. I looked in my closet, and what did I find? Not green. I found alot of dark blue, white and black, but again, no green. I have one green shirt, it was dirty, and too late to wash it the night before, so I was going to go sans green until I remembered that big rock of a Green Yag ring my mom got me for christmas one year. I love this ring, and it's the perfect color. Think emerald green! Beautiful, and it's huge, well maybe not huge, but large on my little finger. Actually, it needs to be fitted, but that's a whole other story.

So I found my green, although small, I refused to get pinched by any of the kids at daycare. Whats the reason for pinching anyway? I hated being pointed out as a child when I wasn't wearing green on St. Patrick's Day. Then being pinched was twice the torture. I thought that kind of stuff was supposed to be fun as a child. It didn't end up being that way, though.

Onward. Josh, my mom, my in-laws (kim and harvey) and I went to dinner last night at our pastors house. Kim and Harvey had bought this dinner at an Auction a few weeks back. Dinner was $300 dollars! The money went to churches in Uganda, so it was for a good cause. We had corned beef, which I have never had before, and loved, I wanted more, but I couldn't fit it in my stomach, cabbage, potatoes, and carrots, a great salad and bread. Such a beautiful meal. To top it off we shared some wonderful laughs, some interesting chatter, and made a great memory. By far the best St. Patrick's Day I have ever had. I loved it. It is so nice to be an adult. I know Josh and I are still young, but it is so nice to be around people who like to sit around together and talk about memories, and life in general. It was such a wonderful experience. Don't you just love life? I do!

Have a blessed Tuesday!


Monday, March 17, 2008

Feeling Like I Belong

I noticed that it has been awhile since my last post. Words have escaped me these past few days, and time has escaped as well. Who would have ever thought that Alyssa would be at a loss for something to talk about? Even today, as I sit here, I am wondering if I have a subject long enough to talk about. I've come to realize, I guess I came to realize right away that very few people read my blog. I could name one person that keeps updated, I couldn't tell you anyone else that reads my blog every once in awhile, let alone stays frequently update. My mother peeks over my shoulder sporadically and pretends like she's not looking, but I know she's secretly eyeing the computer screen for a look at the something that I am writing down. She then goes and looks when she's at work, she should be working, but she's checking up on what's going on with me. She won't read this today, but tomorrow probably, I'm only telling you all of this because right now, she's probably gawking at the computer that I know her so well. I pay attention to the habits of the people I know, the people I know and are close to, I know quite well. I'm an observer, I guess.

Anyway, back on the subject. I came to realize yes, that very few people look at my page; I'm probably the one that looks at it the most. Keeping it updated, and seeing if anyone has any thoughts to throw back at me, alas, no one has, and a little part of me is disappointed that people don't have any thoughts on what I say. You can agree or disagree, read and give your opinion! I've also found that writing is very good therapy for me. I can remember a time when I couldn't write down an interesting sentence to save my life. I owe the flow of thoughts, even though; they may be fragmented, to my 6th grade teacher Mrs. Bales. She helped me in more ways than she will ever know. There is something freeing about writing. Something that is put out there, a flag that says this is me, read my private thoughts, and take them to heart. You might be thinking the same thing, you might not, but deep down inside you have something that has sparked inside you and you want to write too. Answer that call within yourself, and write. Write about anything you feel passionate about.

I'm sorry; I'm writing a post about writing, that's no fun. But what I have to say will probably only pertain to a small group of people, maybe the whole message if you dig deep will pertain to you as well.Yesterday marked the day a year ago I landed in Germany. I had just survived 11 hours of flight. The first 9 hours to Copenhagen, and another 2 to Frankfurt. I had been terrified I would miss my plane, I didn't and when I landed in Germany I was relieved that my SECOND plane trip had been one I had taken alone. Oh the joy I felt when I saw Josh looking for me down in luggage claim at the Frankfurt airport, an airport that within the next few months I would learn to know fairly well. I was free, well in the confines of Baumholder's army base, but there was still something freeing about being on my own, alone with Josh. It was something I needed very much, Thank you mom for letting me go. I've talked about my time in Europe before and how much I miss it, but a year has passed and I can't believe time has gone so fast.

When I left Germany I took with me so many memories, but a piece of me was left there, I had been to the places I have wanted to see for so long. But with the pride and happiness of achieving one of my dreams, something ached inside me, and to this day, I think there is a piece of me missing. I am so thankful for seeing the places that I saw, creating the memories that I made with Josh, and making friendships with people I wouldn't have otherwise. I am so thankful for everything that happened in those 3 months. I should be completely satisfied right? I can't get it out of my head though, that I should still be wandering the streets of Paris. I know that a tourist’s view of a foreign country is more beautiful than that of people who are actually living there, but I truly think I would like it. I want; no I need to go back. What I need to do is learn another language, so I have some sort of communication with people.

It was a time of new experiences, learning, and happiness. I found out more about myself in those 3 months, than I think I had in the first 19 years of my life. I allowed myself to feel, love and experience life with arms and heart wide open. Something I had never done. I found out who I was, and how I wanted to live. I was passionate about life, and I found a renewed love of life. I found that I want to be a person surrounded by people who mean the world to me. I want a beautiful life, one with trials and triumphs, one with sadness and happiness. Happiness is not truly felt until we have felt true sadness. I felt totally at peace with myself, and who I had become, I found what I needed and what I wanted.

For once, I felt a calm come over me, one I had never felt before, and wonder if I will ever feel again. Did I learn all of that in Europe, or did I know it all along. I think it just opened my eyes to things I already knew, but what better place to find who you are and what you want than on the streets of Paris? I felt like I finally found where I belong, and I finally found where I feel at home. I think we all need to find a place where we feel truly happy and truly at home. I found it, hopefully I will have the chance to return to it. I’ve felt completely at home, have you?

Have a Blessed Monday. Happy St. Patricks Day!



Thursday, March 13, 2008

A little improvement

Yesterday was a little bit better than Tuesday. I cried yesterday morning before heading into town, Josh comforted me, and by the time we got into town I was feeling better. You know those days when nothing goes right, and things just start to build up after awhile. I'm so hard on myself, and it only takes awhile, and I have a melt down. Yesterday morning was my melt down. I'm doing better though, thanks to my husband, my friend Rachel down at the coffee shop, who had only positive words to say, and a little productivity yesterday. Me feeling like I have been productive during the day makes me feel 100% better.

I have lots of calls to make today, I don't like making calls. I would much rather talk to people in person, I don't know why. Calls to apartments, and calls to investment places. I'm going to go look at some furniture today with my mother-in-law. Why am I telling you absolutely everything I have planned for today? I'm bored I guess:) Anyway, a coffee table may have potential of having a home with us, but it's used, I wonder what ideas I can conjur up to fix it up. Hoepfully it will be wood, and will be up for a little creativity!

It's almost Friday, which means it's almost the weekend and I get to see my sister! Well, my sister-in-law, but my sister. I can't wait!!

I'm feeling more positive today, which is refreshing because some days I can't find it in myself to be optimistic. Other days it comes so easily. I guess that can be said about most people. I'm glad I have a husband who makes it his job to make me feel better. He left me text messages all day telling me how much he loves me. He does it everyday, but some days I need it a little more than others. Yesterday was one of those days. My cousin left me a message yesterday, saying she loves me. It's just those little things that help during rough days. So many people made me smile yesterday! Thank you to all of you for the little things.

Well, nothing new to report here, I'm thinking of a good subject to write about. Know of anything, I can give you my thoughts! Have a wonderful Thursday!


Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Apartment Woes

I feel like all I have been doing the past few weeks is complaining on here, does it feel like that to you? I'm looking at paper work for apartments, papers that I have looked at before, but now that I look at them, they are more depressing to me than they were before. April 18th will come fast. It will definitely be cheaper to live in a cardboard box, but that's not really condusive to healthy living when you have a family, is it?

We have the price of rent, which is expensive, but then an additional tack on price of various deposits, and application fees are at least $510 dollars. All of that doesn't include the electricity for the apartment, or parking in a carport. The carport is there, with our number on it, do we really have to pay for it? It's just sitting there empty if we don't. I will have to uncover the answer for this one.

Then we have to live! I.E. groceries, car payments, insurance. We'll never survive. I'm feeling sick to my stomach. I wonder if they could throw in groceries just for us! That would be nice. :) We have to survive 15 weeks. Hopefully Josh can be looking for a job while he's going to school. I was planning on working on my photography while I was there, but I might be getting a job, which was always a possiblity. And then helping josh with studying. Goodbye sweet world of art and photography, hello world of costumer service, and books on electricity.

Josh is ever the optimist, whether he believes what he's saying or not. On that, I don't know. "We'll be fine, don't worry." I don't think I'm a pessimist, I'm just trying to be realistic about things, so it's not a shock to me if we aren't fine, you know what I mean? I'm trying to calm down, and give it to God, but I like to be in control of that stuff, or at least know we are definitely going to be okay.

Wandering nomads. That is us in a nutshell.

I hear people all the time say that being an adult is hard. I would prefer to be an adult scrambling to make money than be in high school. I wasn't a fan of high school. I guess I wasn't free enough, or something. I just have to realize that everyone goes through this stage when starting out. There are ways to make it, I'm just going to be scared and nervous while getting through it.

Upside! I have the most wonderful husband in the world, whom I believe in whole heartedly, and who believes in me just as much. So, I guess the moral of this story is, Hold tight to the people you love, in the end, those are the ones who can get you through anything.

I found a quote I like, one that is a little more on adversity, than just hard times. It's a quote that gives hope, though, to not just the big obstacles we face in life, but the small as well.

"There is in every true woman's heart a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity; but which kindles up, and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity. " Washington Irving

Monday, March 10, 2008

It's About The Journey

Have I complained about Monday's before? I'm sure I have. Like 99% of the population, I love the weekend 1,000 times more than I love the weekday. I start to get sad on Sundays because the week is starting. Why do I let Mondays bother me so much? Why do any of us let Monday's bother us so much? Is it worth it? No. But I still take part in the whining when Monday rolls around.

Nothing to exciting happened this weekend, nothing really worth talking about. I had an epiphany at work on Friday while I was getting snack ready for the kids. That painting that I couldn't figure out just came to me while I was busy. I sat down really quick before the school aged kids got there, and sketched out my work as fast as a I could and as well as I could. They walked in the door just as I was finishing. Good thing I had my sketch book with me. Isn't it strange that things come to you at such odd times.

Josh's friends came up to our house this weekend to have a boys night. I thought sleepovers stopped when you got married, I could be totally wrong, though. I've only been married for 3 and a half months, I don't know much about being married, only a few things:). Anyway, the boys saw the start of my underpainting, and asked me all sorts of questions about painting. I know nothing about painting, other than I like paint, and I like to paint. I took an art class in high school that was drawing the first quarter of the year, and painting the second quarter. That was my senior year, I did band the other three years, I should have taken art instead. I know a little bit about painting, but my teacher was there basically to tell us she was a terrific artist, and to watch us do it ourselves, but never really teach us how to do it. I loved her work, but I don't remember her teaching me anything. Everything I learned was self taught, and I didn't self teach myself much. I taught myself enough to get an A+ at the end of the year.

So, I know nothing of the rules of painting. I do what I want, and do it my way. It's that way with most things. I'm a fly by the seat of my pants, figure it out by trial and error way. I teach myself, but I learn things best by experimenting, not reading about it.

How do you learn? There are so many different ways to learn. I could be told how to do something 124 times and not understand until I see someone do it.

Anyway, since I started painting last week at the begining of the week, my painting has changed at least three times. Oh the beauty of art. We can change our minds, and develop one concept so many different times. My piece may be completely different from when I started. The end product is so gratifying, but the journey is just as beautiful. Isn't that true about so many things?

Have a blessed Monday!


Saturday, March 8, 2008

Because I'm Bored

And because I am in town... I was kicked out of my house. I miss Josh already. I'm pathetic. So, because I am bored, I thought I would fill this out!

4 Jobs I have had:

1. My first real job. Working at Eileen's. I started at 16, and I'm still there watching kids. Other people's kids! HA! I must be crazy. I'm checking myself into the crazy ward as soon as I stop working there. It's been almost 5 years now that I've been there. I should have checked myself in a long time ago.

2.Photographer. As of now, I am being paid for what I do. I hear that what you do is only a hobby until you are being paid. Well, I get paid, but I don't have a steady flow of work. But I guess most starting photographers can say that.

3. Model Stand-In: For one day. I stood in at a photoshoot I was attending with my uncle. I was contacted a few days later to do a casting call for a real job, but modeling isn't my thing. That was my one shot at stardom. ;)

4.I don't really have a fourth job. I've done odd jobs here and there, but I've never been paid:)

4 Movies I'd Watch Over and Over Again:

1. American President
2. Pride and Prejudice
3. Sleepless in Seattle
4. Pirates of the Carribean

4 Places I Have Lived:

1. Montesano
2. Germany
3. Lake Nawhatzel
4. Boise (next month)

(Lots of people's houses back and forth).

4 People I Email, Text, or Call Almost Daily

1. Josh- Call and Text
2. My mom
3. Danae: Myspace
4. My Mother-In-Law

4 Places I Would Rather Be:

1. Home with Josh
3. Italy
4. Together with the whole family.

4 Things I Look Forward To This Year:

1. Staying in one spot for more than a month and a half.
2. Having our own apartment
3. Josh getting to start work on something he's excited about.
4. Working on my photography and hopefully getting a few more jobs!

Friday, March 7, 2008

Some Days I Feel Like A Genius

Which doesn't happen often. I've come to realize that I am probably the most stubborn person. I absolutely hate asking for help. I don't know why, but I always choose to suffer through things without asking for someone to tell me how to do it. There are days when I get totally down on myself because I am trying to figure out how to do all that website building, photography skill learning/graphic designing stuff by myself. I sit here most of the day trying to learn new things with no actual proof that I've figured something out on my own. Today, I did. I talked about triumphs today, yes this is small, but makes me soooo happy to have figured it out all by myself with just a help button on Blogger. I put music on my blog. I didn't ask a human, I figured it out on my own. Feelin good today! Well, it's 9:30 so, I'm feeling like I've had an epiphany as of now!

Well, gotta go try to figure some more stuff out!


Yesterday Was My Day

Actually... Yesterday was so not my day. Like I said, I didn't fall asleep until 2:30 in the morning yesterday morning. Which means, I knew yesterday would be a total gem of a day. But, unlike most days when it's my day to be miserable, I didn't let it bother me. I was totally determined not to let things get to me... And they didn't. I have triumphed. Even if it was just a small triumph, I'm slowly chipping away at a few of my downfalls.

So, I rolled out of bed at 5:30. Why is it that 5 o'clock in the evening takes so long to get to, but 5 o'clock in the morning seems to arrive so quickly. Is that some weird joke God likes to play on us? I think so:) Not an our and a half later, and I found that my laptop, the one that I bought before I flew to Germany last year, and one I've never been happy with, pooped out on me. Screen black, something about "drive incompatibility" and it's blocked. Among numerous other things, I can't have internet explorer, I can't download pictures to certain websites, and my driver won't play cd's, just dvds. But, I calmly took it down to my mother-in-law, and she took it to a guy she knows. I can't edit photos from the photoshoot. I will have to put the photos on my mom's computer tomorrow when I'm down.

And the peak of my day! When I realized before I walked into work, I had stepped in dog poo! It was only 10:30, the day hadn't even started yet. Surprisingly the day ended up being okay! We'll see how today goes. It's all about frame of mind isn't it? Last night I passed out when Josh and I went to bed. I slept from 9:45-4:11 without waking up. I've got so much sleep to catch up on, though, I'll need a few more nights of sleep. Tomorrow night though, Josh is having boys night. Which means, I have to stay in town, I'm kicked out of my house, and he's going to be drinking... All... Night... Long. I thought that kind of stuff was supposed to stop after you are married. You know, those sleepovers that guys have when they drink themselves into a coma. Well, I get to go see a play tomorrow night. :) So I guess I will be having fun too. But, sleep I'm sure will just be a memory, I can't sleep without Josh. I'm a loser!!

I painted last night, one thing I love about painting, I can paint right over something I don't like. It might take a few coats, depending on the color, but there is no evidence of it being there. I've always had a problem trying to figure out what I want to draw, or what I want to paint. For the last few days I've had an idea, but when I did it last night, it wasn't what I wanted. Inspiration is failing to come to me, I'm trying to recreate some semblance of a good painting, I don't know though. I'm having some difficulties. I guess paintings down really get all done in one night, it takes a long time. I'm just having a block I guess.

Oh! The other day I got my plate back from The Painted Plate. Hate it, terrible. I'm going to go back and make more stuff. It was my first one, it happens.:) You know though, they should wrap up the plates when they put them in a brown bag. Especially if there is more than one! All of our plates are chipped. Boo:(

I found this great thing on someone elses blog, but I don't know how to post a link within a post. Could anyone help me out?

Well, Friday is here! Yay! Everyone enjoy the day!


Thursday, March 6, 2008

Sleep Deprivation

I don't know what's wrong with me, and I'm starting to get irritated. Do you ever have those days when you are exhausted and can't wait to go to sleep and then when you get into bed you can do nothing but think about other things that need to be done? Even if I don't have anything that needs to be done I still find myself lying awake at night staring into the darkness, and listening to that incessant snoring sound Josh makes when he sleeps on his back.

It's really starting to drive me crazy. It hasn't been just one or two days of this. It hasn't even been just one or two weeks. It's been at the very least three weeks... probably closer to a month or more. What happened to me? I've never been a good sleeper, it's just the way I am. But I'm running on 3 to 4 hours a sleep a night, if I'm that lucky. What's the deal here?! I started to thinking last night, I have a wild imagination mind you, about the movie Secret Window. Have you ever seen it? It's that one with Johnny Depp, yes, I'm a fan... Anyway, he becomes so sleep deprived, and depressed that he forms this completely seperate second personality. He ends up scaring himself, and his ex-wife, but ends up killing both her, and her new husband. I can't help but lie awake at night thinking I'm going to go nutty like that. It would be my luck that something like that would happen.

Which then a chain of thoughts goes through my head, all the terrible things I can think of. Then I think I hear things, and 10:30 turns into 2 o'clock, and then before I know it, it's five in the morning and the alarm is going off. And the day starts and then ends the same way. I am exhausted, but my body just won't shut down.

And then, and then. My laptop.... UGH, I could scream. It's going down on me, I've had it for a year and 2 weeks. Never again will I buy an HP. My brother has the same one, and his is worse off, and my husband has the same one, that he just got, against my suggestion to buy a different one, and they are all not working right. Can someone just hand me a few thousand dollars so I can go buy an Apple Desktop Computer. I don't have extra money for that right now. Could you help a girl out? :)

Good thing is, it's Thursday which means tomorrow is Friday! Sorry about the boring, whiney blog today. Hopefully I will have something more interesting to say in a day or so.

Have a Wonderful Thursday!


Wednesday, March 5, 2008

What I've Learned So Far...

Oh Wednesdays middle of the week, but still that day where you are just out of reach of the weekend. We've climbed the hill and are now at the top of the week. The rest of the week is a descent to the weekend. That doesn't mean that Thursdays and Fridays are a breeze, but aren't those days a little bit sweeter than the days that start the week?

So, today is Josh's birthday, like I said yesterday, he was gone last year. He hasn't spent his birthday in the same country since he was 18 years old. He's an old 22 today, oh it feels so good to be young. Haha. I'm sitting here today, just like I do everyday... BLAH, creating things in my mind, and every once in awhile a good idea pops up. So I thought about what I wanted to blog about today last night while I was painting.

What have I learned so far.... So far in what? The last twenty years of my life, no, that would consist of too many little bulleted marks, or numbers. Who wants a list? Yes, maybe some of it would be amusing, but boring after awhile. No, I'm thinking I will talk about what I've learned from not only being married, but marrying so young, and deciding to marry someone so quickly after dating.

Josh and I moved in together a year ago next Sunday. Sin of sins I know. I pray God will forgive me. Learning to live together is hard enough, but we learned to live together in a different country.

Now the point of this blog is to tell you things that I've learned in the short amount of time I've been with Josh. I may not take my own advice. Yes, this is a case of do as I say not as I do. Try to save yourself the frustration that I have laid on myself. Don't sweat the small stuff like I do, it takes up so much of my time. :)

A few things I've learned:

Rewording a statement when you want something means the difference between getting it, or having an argument. (What do I mean by that?): Instead of saying, "Hand me that fork." I try to say, "Can you hand me that fork, please." Josh had a little bit of an issue with this while we were in Germany. I felt like he was demanding rather than asking. He had been getting and giving orders for so long in the army, he really didn't notice he was doing it. He's so great now!

Don't go back behind them and fix everything they've done "wrong." Early in our relationship Josh would help me fold clothes. He still does, but the difference now is that when he folds a towel a different way than I do, I leave it. I made the boy feel bad! Don't make them not want to help anymore, no they aren't really creating more work for you, just leave it. It's so nice that they help, don't get stressed over the little stuff. I still do sometimes, but really, does it matter if the towels are folded spa style or not? No.

The work clothes will never be scraped of dirt, and they will always end up in the middle of the living room floor, not in the laundry room where they should be. I've asked a few times, and it never happens. Josh passes the washer and dryer and plops them right on the floor next to the couch! Not worried about it anymore! I just laugh.

When I clean the house, I don't want him to help, because sometimes they do help, and don't create work, but there are those times when walking around them, does get hard. Let me clean by myself, and when I say I'm good to do it by myself. Believe me, cleaning makes me feel good, but when I ask for help, I really need help. I'm not doing it to make you mad. :)

I'm still trying to learn not to let things that Josh says bother me. You know, those sarcastic comments I'm not in the mood for. It's a hard one for me. I have so much learning to do.

Men will always dig themselves a hole... One that gets deeper and deeper when they make a comment that was bad, and they try to make it better. Sometimes these things are just hilarious. Josh asked me a few weeks ago after I got back from the doctor, How much weight have you gained?" Wrong thing to say.

Just a few things I've learned. I'm sure more to come. I'm still learning how not to get instantly mad. I think that's a Toyra trait. I love my father, but it took two seconds to get mad. Hey, me too!

The beauty of any relationship is the work that you put into it to get results. It may take me 100 years to figure it out. I may never have it figured out, but I'm glad I've got my partner in crime to figure it out with. My prayer is that everyone finds their perfect partner, just like I have found mine.

Have a blessed Wednesday!



Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Adventures in being married

I haven't been married for long, just over three months to be exact, so I'm pretty sure I can't start doling out advice to singles or couples of any status... But I can tell my little stories to amuse myself, and maybe someone else that takes a peek at this along the way.

So like I said last week, we moved back to the lake from Josh's grandparents house. It was nice to be in town, but sometimes it is more relaxing to be settled among your own mess and your own stuff. Do you know what I mean? We've spent so much time shuffling back and forth for the last year we never know where we are going to be for sure from one week to the next. Josh and I go where the wind goes. Our stuff is still spread out among three houses. The lake, my mom's and Josh's parents.

Oh, and there are a few "borrowed" items of mine and Josh's that were left behind in Germany. Ahem, a movie of mine that someone snatched from Josh's room in the barracks, and Josh's Mallorca T-shirt.

*Danae, if you see a red t-shirt with a black bull on it, that says Mallorca, can you let me know. Josh won't let it go. He's truly depressed over the fact that someone snatched it from his room. I really don't think Domingo would be wearing it:)*

Back to the "move back" We decided to unload only part of the stuff from my car, which might I add, I had packed up ALL of the stuff myself, and loaded into the car. My beautiful husband had his little in-grown toe nails removed so his toes hurt. I feel bad, but seriously, I had to load heavy things back into the car while he played video games on his laptop. He'd wave to me every time I struggled to carry another load out to the car. Ah, husbands, what would we do without them?

Like I was saying, we decided to leave part of the load in the car, so we didn't have such a mess in our house, a small area might I add, it's a lake house, it's not supposed to be huge. Where does it get thrown? Not in the rooms it will end up in, no... no... no. Why would we try to create less work for your wife? Nope, it gets thrown right in the middle of the "living room/ dining room/ kitchen floor. I love it!

Messes are my absolute favorite. I love to clean, don't get me wrong, but I just hate unpacking and cleaning up after we've been somewhere. Is anyone else with me? I cleaned up both loads by myself... It took me two days. Ladies, you know how I feel, and yes, sometimes I feel sorry for myself. You know how it is. Then when I ask for help to clean up something, I'm a mean person! :)

But there are some days when I am the nicest person in the world. Yesterday was one of those days. Josh's birthday is tomorrow, March 5th, last year, I didn't get to spend his birthday with him. Josh was in Germany, and I was at home, the story of our relationship. I would arrive 11 days later. This year, we are together, it's so nice to be able to say that we have spent the special times together. It's a hard thing to say when you are a girlfriend, fiancee, or wife of a soldier. So, this year, I wanted to get something good, something he would be surprised about, but what would I get him? He mentioned something about undershirts, and something about a cool first aid kit that he saw on an army supply website. What kind of gifts are those, if you really wanted them that bad, go buy a bag of undershirts! What a boring gift for me to give.

I totally didn't plan to ruin my love life with the present I gave Josh yesterday, but it was something he wanted so badly, something he knew he absolutely wouldn't get. That unreachable gift that you ask for knowing there is no way your wife would get it for her, not if she is in her right mind anyway. I decided on a whim to get him that gift that every guy wants... I caved against my better judgment and I got him an XBOX 360. What was I thinking. As I'm buying it at Best Buy yesterday. It was a joint give from my mom and me, I was kissing goodbye quiet nights relaxing at the lake, and cuddling up watching movies together because we don't have cable or internet. Goodbye peace and quiet, hello Call of Duty 37 or whatever number they are at, and hello it the electronic sounds of men yelling orders and gun shots. Ah, silence is fleeting.

I am reminded that I am a wonderful wife everyday, but yesterday, I made his year, and his birthday by buying him a small box that I believe somehow drains knowledge from your brain! I felt good yesterday, great actually. I am wife of the year. And it only cost $450 dollars to get to that point! And I'm ahead of the game, not even four months married! Have I hit my amazing wife peak? I hope not:) He asked if that means I want diamonds for my birthday this year. I said, well, twenty one is pretty big. I'm always up for diamonds... any jewelry is good to, but I won't be disappointed if I'm not swimming in diamonds and pearls come August:) I didn't do it so I could get something out of giving him a good gift. I gave it to him to make him happy, to see him completely excited.

That's what we do as wives, we think of our husbands first. We aren't just living for ourselves anymore. I think we as women learn more quickly that a marriage is not a me thing, but a we thing... An us thing... Decisions are no longer about one, they are about two. Helping Josh learn that has been a task, a task that is sometimes fruitless, but one day, I think he will come around... It takes longer for men I think, to see what we see. Here's to women! It's beautiful being one isn't?! Hard but beautiful. Aren't we amazing?

Have a blessed day!

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