It probably seems like I have fallen off the face of the earth, and there have been days this month when I actually thought I had. We had a family emergency (that continues) at the beginning of the month, that has taken up more than all of my time, and has left me running around most days like a chicken with my head cut off (gross I know, but that was the most fitting analogy). I tend to be a pretty organized person when it comes to most things (except for where I put my keys, and why can't I find my phone in my purse? Did I lose it)? I solved the phone in purse problem by finally finding a phone cover that I could see in the black abyss I call my purse. I forked over $3.43 on a pink cover for my LG ENV 2 (I think that's what model it is).
I did so much running around and so much freaking out about the whole situation (which I am also continuing to do) that I started making mistakes that I never would have if my head was attached to the rest of my body the right way.
When you run your own business (unless you are just gifted in running business) you kind of run on the saying, "Everything is trial and error." This doesn't work? okay we'll throw it out and try something new. I'm pretty sure that's just life in general. I made a boo boo earlier in the month where I am going to end up costing myself money rather than making it, and I was mad, boy was I mad. Not so much about not making the money, although, that's how I run my business, you have to make money to run a successful business, but I was more mad that I made a mistake that I wouldn't have normally made if I haven't been spending the last month constantly running around at warp speed. Josh said to me, "Live and Learn" and you do. You live, and along the way you learn what works, and what doesn't.
About this time last year I was making big plans for big resolutions. This year, I have a few goals I've set for myself, but none of them are enormous. I've almost met one of them before the year has even started, so when I reach my goal (not if because I won't stand for if) then I will make myself a new goal and move from there. I was the classic case of making my goals too lofty, a little too big for my ambition at least, and found myself mourning the loss of my made goals somewhere mid February, and then completely forgetting what I had set out to do all together.
And what kept me from making these goals? Myself. Fear of taking risks is something that I have always suffered from. I planned on living in Montesano my whole life until Josh came along, and in a few months had flown 13 hours by myself across the world to live in Europe for a few months. No support system, just me and Josh and a huge world that I knew nothing about. I made some of the best friends while I was over there. One of my very closest soul friends was the only person I wanted to talk to when all this mess happened. Because she knows how I felt, and until you have been through something like this, you can never understand how it feels.
Like I said, this year my goals are less exciting, but I think they are more important for living a good life. I've found that I've wasted alot of time wallowing in my sorrows, wondering why things haven't happened, so this year I'm making them happen and I'll let the chips fall where they may. It's time for action not idleness.
So my New Years Resolution for 2010:
Laugh more, cry less; Love more, worry less; work smarter, learn more; create more, forgive more. Indulge, see new places, take more risks, Be closer to God, be better at business, Give back, connect with people, inspire and be inspired, find a little peace, and just enjoy life.
I pray that your 2010 will be a blessed year for you... Happy New Year:)