Friday, February 8, 2008

Soul Friends

I am a lover of quotes, reading what other people have to say about life, and the people in it have always fascinated me. But what does loving quotes have to do with friendship? Nothing really, other than the fact that there seems to be a never ending list of quotes on friendship. Isn't that nice? In a world where everyone is different, or at least striving to make themselves different, we all need the same things to feel like a whole person.

I found it interesting in my sociology class two years ago to find out that while my personality and beliefs are different from someone in a different continent, I still need friendship, I still need to feel socially excepted. God created us all to be different, but we all need the necessities.

In the twenty years I have been blessed to be on this planet, I have created many sweet friendships. Some have come, and some have gone, but all have made me the person that I am today. I have a few friends that I thought I would never have built friendships with, and I've lost some friends I never thought I would lose. Was it me? Or was it them? Does it matter anymore? I don't think so. We all grow, but it takes growing up, but growing together to keep a friendship strong.

Alot of people say that friendships should be easy, and a part of me agrees with this statement, but another part of me disagrees as well. While friendships either click, and you have an instant chemistry with someone, to keep a friendship, and to keep a good one takes work. I am the first person to say that I have to work on my friendships, and I've sat down more than a couple times to reflect on my friendships and what I have done, and what I have not done. Most of the time I feel like a terrible friend.

I believe there are different types of friends. Friends that are aquaintances, friends that are close, and friends that are soul friends. I love all types of friends, but these soul friends are the ones that have changed my life the most. They make my heart happy just by seeing them, or getting a nice message at the end of a really bad day. They make me a better person. These people in my life are a small handful, and I don't think that there should be more than a handful. I think these people are the most beautiful, and most captivating in the world. Each of them brings something different to my life.

When Josh and I were doing our pre-marriage counseling (something that was required to get married), we were told to write down a list of reasons why we wanted to marry the other person. I loved my answers, and in our next meeting I was so excited to read them to Josh. Our pastor liked them, but told us both to come back the next week and write down things that we ourselves could give to the relationship, not just what we were getting from the other person.

I believe that having a friendship is at the core similar to having a marriage. That basic prinicpal. There is giving and there is receiving. While I get things from having a friendship, I should be more concerned with what I am giving. Have I thought about it that way before? Yes, but have I acted on it? I don't know. My friends have made a huge impact on my life, but have I made a significant impact in theirs? If not, what can I do to touch their hearts the way they have touched me? My goal this year: find something that I bring to my friendships, and strive to make them a happier person.

My favorite friendship quote: "In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit."

~Albert Schweitzer

2 comments:

Beka said...

Wow... I dont even know where to start. I love reading stuff from you. It is so true and so real. Seriously, you make me feel good and make me want what you are looking for. You are a beautiful person and my beautiful friend, I am so blessed to have you. I love you so much. Follow and listen to your heart, it never lies.
Love yoU!

janine11 said...

i hope i'm included in your handful of soul friends...i want you to know that you truly have impacted my life in such a positive way and i am so blessed to have you as my friend even though we don't see each other nearly enough...love you! :)

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