Why Do Men Get Better Looking As They Get Older, And Women Just Look Worse?

Last night I was forced to watch one of Josh's favorite childhood movies, Darby O' Gill and the Little People. The title alone made me shudder with thoughts of little leprechauns jumping about, and really bad acting. Being St. Patrick's Day and all, it was of course fitting for the occasion. Now don't get me wrong, I love old films. I am a huge fan of Rear Window, An Affair to Remember, and Breakfast at Tiffany's just to name a few, but there's just something about an old man talking to little men dressed in green that makes me sick to my stomach. I may have appreciated it more if it had been a movie I watched when I was a kid, something like Parent Trap, or that movie "Cartoon All-Stars To The Rescue" the anti-drug movie with Winnie-the-Pooh and Alf, that I rented from A-1 video in town at least a hundred times. I was not only completely against drugs then, but I'm sure this is the reason why I've completely stayed away from them for so many years. If you start early, that stuff is chizzled into your brain.

Anyway, onward, and on to the point of my blog. The bright spot in the film was Sean Connery. I am a HUGE fan of most everything Sean Connery. His white hair, his huge eyebrows, the accent, the over all look of him, and oh, his acting is nice too. Sean was much younger in this movie, 29, I read, and while he was good looking, I much prefer the 69 year old Connery.

I know, ew, right? I'm sorry, I have a thing... A good looking man is a good looking man, and I have had a crush on Sean Connery since I saw him in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. It was love at first sight, I had to have been four when I saw it. I have had a thing for older men ever since, and somedays I still wonder why I married a guy only a year and a half older than me. Josh isn't old enough. He'll get there, though.

So as I sat with Josh watching the movie I wondered aloud, "Why do men get better looking, and women just look worse as they age?" And it's true. Johnny Depp? Can't get much better than Johnny Depp at 45, glorious. Richard Gere? Like I said, I love me some white hair,Kevin Costner, I'm in love... And, Mel Gibson? Well he is iffy, I think party of his problem is his decision to jump on the crazy train. But I'm sure if he hadn't fallen off his rocker, he in fact would be glorious too.

So why is it that men get better looking as they get older. Is it not enough that woman have to suffer through the pains of childbirth, cellulite, bloating, and weight complexes through our entire lives, but we also have to carry the burden that our boyfriends and husbands will only get better looking as we look more and more like hell? Is there no justice in the world?

I sat there watching the movie and came to the probable realization that at 21, this is as good as I am going to look, and to tell you the truth, that kind of sucks... I'm not saying I'm ugly, I'm just saying that it's a real bummer that I'm going to peak at 21. Bleh. The dark circles, the "alabaster" skin, and the very visible veins I have protruding out of my hands that I can thank my beautiful grandmother for, will only get worse.

Some mornings I look in the mirror and just shake my head. Makeup really does make a huge difference. DEPRESSING!!! Now if I could only get it to stick on my face... I've tried everything from cover girl, to Clinique, to Bare Minerals, NOTHING stays on my face. I think I might start using some spackle or plaster as a base coat... That might help.

And why is it that we just keep looking worse as the day goes on? I like those few minutes between putting my makeup on and getting my outfit on in the morning. Those few minutes when I say, "Hey this could work." We keep getting worse, and our guys just sit there all smug and good looking for the entire day. Half the time they don't even brush their hair. Again, NO JUSTICE.

I wish there was some sort of miracle work that could make us look better. Oh there is botox, and surgery, and all that fun stuff, but my thoughts are, if I wasn't born with it, then I wasn't meant to have it. I "blessed" with a small chest, so when guys in high school would come up to me and ask if I would get a boob job when I got older I would politely say, "What the hell kind of question is that? NO."

Is it some joke from God that we have to suffer through everything else, and just look older and older? Is there a secret? Is it just good genes? Or is it just great products and alot of money? Women at 45 in Hollywood look better than I do at 21. But I really don't have the money to lay down for a little tuck here, and a little enhancement there.

So with muscle freezing botox out, and putting bags of saline or silicone into my chest out. I'm left with creams and salves and living a good life, and the hopes that I will age gracefully....But I'm not betting on it.