What I've Learned So Far...

Oh Wednesdays middle of the week, but still that day where you are just out of reach of the weekend. We've climbed the hill and are now at the top of the week. The rest of the week is a descent to the weekend. That doesn't mean that Thursdays and Fridays are a breeze, but aren't those days a little bit sweeter than the days that start the week?

So, today is Josh's birthday, like I said yesterday, he was gone last year. He hasn't spent his birthday in the same country since he was 18 years old. He's an old 22 today, oh it feels so good to be young. Haha. I'm sitting here today, just like I do everyday... BLAH, creating things in my mind, and every once in awhile a good idea pops up. So I thought about what I wanted to blog about today last night while I was painting.

What have I learned so far.... So far in what? The last twenty years of my life, no, that would consist of too many little bulleted marks, or numbers. Who wants a list? Yes, maybe some of it would be amusing, but boring after awhile. No, I'm thinking I will talk about what I've learned from not only being married, but marrying so young, and deciding to marry someone so quickly after dating.

Josh and I moved in together a year ago next Sunday. Sin of sins I know. I pray God will forgive me. Learning to live together is hard enough, but we learned to live together in a different country.

Now the point of this blog is to tell you things that I've learned in the short amount of time I've been with Josh. I may not take my own advice. Yes, this is a case of do as I say not as I do. Try to save yourself the frustration that I have laid on myself. Don't sweat the small stuff like I do, it takes up so much of my time. :)

A few things I've learned:

Rewording a statement when you want something means the difference between getting it, or having an argument. (What do I mean by that?): Instead of saying, "Hand me that fork." I try to say, "Can you hand me that fork, please." Josh had a little bit of an issue with this while we were in Germany. I felt like he was demanding rather than asking. He had been getting and giving orders for so long in the army, he really didn't notice he was doing it. He's so great now!

Don't go back behind them and fix everything they've done "wrong." Early in our relationship Josh would help me fold clothes. He still does, but the difference now is that when he folds a towel a different way than I do, I leave it. I made the boy feel bad! Don't make them not want to help anymore, no they aren't really creating more work for you, just leave it. It's so nice that they help, don't get stressed over the little stuff. I still do sometimes, but really, does it matter if the towels are folded spa style or not? No.

The work clothes will never be scraped of dirt, and they will always end up in the middle of the living room floor, not in the laundry room where they should be. I've asked a few times, and it never happens. Josh passes the washer and dryer and plops them right on the floor next to the couch! Not worried about it anymore! I just laugh.

When I clean the house, I don't want him to help, because sometimes they do help, and don't create work, but there are those times when walking around them, does get hard. Let me clean by myself, and when I say I'm good to do it by myself. Believe me, cleaning makes me feel good, but when I ask for help, I really need help. I'm not doing it to make you mad. :)

I'm still trying to learn not to let things that Josh says bother me. You know, those sarcastic comments I'm not in the mood for. It's a hard one for me. I have so much learning to do.

Men will always dig themselves a hole... One that gets deeper and deeper when they make a comment that was bad, and they try to make it better. Sometimes these things are just hilarious. Josh asked me a few weeks ago after I got back from the doctor, How much weight have you gained?" Wrong thing to say.

Just a few things I've learned. I'm sure more to come. I'm still learning how not to get instantly mad. I think that's a Toyra trait. I love my father, but it took two seconds to get mad. Hey, me too!

The beauty of any relationship is the work that you put into it to get results. It may take me 100 years to figure it out. I may never have it figured out, but I'm glad I've got my partner in crime to figure it out with. My prayer is that everyone finds their perfect partner, just like I have found mine.

Have a blessed Wednesday!

Love,

Alyssa