Because They Have To...

Josh left this morning for Oregon and I got all teary. Pathetic, I know, he will only be gone for one, maybe two days tops. When did I become so dependent on someone else? Have I lost who I am in a bad way, or having someone that means this much to me a good thing? Maybe it's a little bit of both.

Oh how quickly we (as army girlfriends,fiance's, and wives) forget how we felt when our men were gone before they were out of the army. Josh is out of the army now, I thank God for that everyday, but his time in the army shaped him into the person that he is today, and I love him more because of it. When Josh and I first got together, and started dating (if you could talking over yahoo instant messenger while he was in Baghdad, and I was at home, dating) Josh was on the other side of the world, and I survived that six months, not because I wanted to, but because I had to. And to tell you the truth, I didn't feel sorry for myself. Why? Because I had made the decision to be with him, knowing that 4 days after we started dating, he was going back to a place where living tomorrow is never your right, or a promise, but a gift, and a privilege. So what has changed in almost two years, that when he leaves for two days, I get sad?

Josh means more to me everyday, but he meant so much to me when we started dating. We had decided after the first few days together that we would get married. And here we are, two days from now we will be married for three months. Three months, wow I know. But we've been living together, for almost a year now...

So, I have the highest respect for Army wives who watch there husband leave, not only just for one duration of 15 months, but some times two, three or even more. I have the deepest respect for the soldiers, but don't forget about their wives, husbands, and families when you pray for the troops. There are families, and spouses at home fighting their own wars, of lonliness, and anxiety. These families don't survive, and live this life because they are excited to, and because they can think of nothing better, but because they have to. We can't help who we fall in love with.:) Sometime life takes turns that we never thought it would. These wives, husbands, and families are the some of the strongest I have ever met.

I've realized how petty I am in my worries about Josh, but I am a worrier by nature, how did I survive the 8 or so months apart? All I can come up with is, I did it because I had to.

So, to all my friends who will be missing their husbands soon I'm praying for you. You are the most wonderful women I have ever met, and the strongest. I love you all.

Have a Blessed Friday!

Alyssa